And that's how boners are made
Girl: If you peed out here, I think that it would freeze before if it hit the ground.
Guy: I think it would freeze in my dick before it got out....
Outside Thorne
That awkward moment when laughing may put your grade on the line.
Professor: You see my ex-husband and I first moved to Brunswick because he hated Chicago. Turns out he didn't hate Chicago, he hated me. He lives back in Chicago now.
School St.
Can I Interest You in Hanukkah?
Guy [being pelted with Gelt]: Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's! And unto Jews what is theirs!
Howell House
Guy: Dead fish over here, am I right?
Girl: He just hooked up at me, I played no part in it.
Smith
A sober kiss? I don't understand.
Girl [to large group of her girl friends]: I give good sober kisses, don't worry. You want one?
Union at 5 PM

